Cultivating the Openness to Receive
by Robert Hackman
Photograph by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
I am believing
In the power of allowing and receiving
From the Song ‘The Power of Allowing and Receiving’
By Diane Cluck
Thanksgiving in the United States has become my favorite holiday. For many, it ushers in the start of the holiday season, culminating with New Year’s celebrations.
I find it the simplest, without the pressures and complications of gift buying, giving, and receiving. Thanksgiving focuses on interpersonal, familial, and communal gratitude—something we can never practice or express too much.
The holiday is a shared giving of thanks and a day designed to open us to the act of receiving.
I met my wife at an annual Thanksgiving football game and shared food, beverages, and community gathering. I played with my extended family and friends every year for over 20 years in all types of weather. A beloved cousin initiated our version of the traditional pastime, for which I will always be grateful.
It became even more special to me when my middle child and oldest son was born on Thanksgiving eve. The only year I missed the game.
The holiday is all about giving thanks for what we have. Nonetheless, I notice it is not always easy for us to receive.
As with listening, we assume we already know how to receive well. Therefore, receiving should not require learning, effort, or practice.
I believe there is more to it than that.
When we acknowledge that listening and receiving are more complex processes than we comprehend, we recognize we can do more to enrich our connections and relationships.
Opening ourselves to receiving is a vulnerable act. Since vulnerability entails opening oneself to being hurt, we instinctively resist it.
Yet vulnerability and risk-taking are where the joy of life resides. Meaningful connections with strangers and friends alike are not possible without a degree of mutual vulnerability.
The pandemic, political and social divisions, economic stressors, and our own social discomfort prompt us to protect ourselves and, in the process, close ourselves off from rewarding give-and-take of relationships.
Something we do not consider is that giving does not mean much if what is offered is not well received. Almost all of us can improve our receiving by doing it generously.
The words generous and receiving may seem like an awkward pairing. However, a gift graciously accepted creates a gift twice given. Receiving from another or our environment represents a gift in itself.
Contrary to conventional wisdom, I believe receiving freely is often significantly more challenging than giving.
Unknowingly, many of us move through life bracing for hurt of one kind or another, always poised to defend ourselves if and when it presents itself. In so doing, we cut ourselves off from the very relationships that buoy our spirits, connect us, and contribute to our well-being.
Are you willing to allow yourself to give in and fully receive a heartfelt hug, the graceful hospitality of friends and family, or take in the warm smile from a stranger?
It begins with us. Not only through what we give to others in conventional ways it also includes our willingness to receive.
Stay attuned to any resistance you detect to receiving entirely from others. Instead of keeping your distance from accepting, relax into what they offer, and allow yourself to receive it with a big heart.
My Gratitude
Thank you for allowing me into your life through my writings. I realize your time is valuable, and I am grateful for your consideration. I hope these articles have added to your thinking and improved how you lead.
I wish you bountiful exchanges of tender giving and receiving during your holidays and all seasons.
Worthy Considerations:
- Will you open yourself to receiving from others his holiday season? If so, in what ways? How will they know?
- Are you willing to acknowledge well-received gifts of all kinds, constitute gifts twice given?
- How can lowering your guard and opening yourself to relationships with friends and strangers enrich your life and those of others?
- How would this approach affect your impact on others, your environment, and what you leave behind – your Everyday Legacies?
- What one thing will you commit to doing differently as a result of what you learned from this article?
Please get in touch with me to l to learn about a specially priced 90-minute coaching session specifically designed to focus on cultivating vulnerability, Love, and openness to receiving to benefit your family, your teams, your organization, and your life. I welcome the conversation.
You can reach me via text at 484.800.2203, email @ rhackman@4cconsulting.net, or through the 4C website https://www.4cconsulting.net/.
Robert Hackman, Principal, 4C Consulting and Coaching, helps people live and lead with fewer regrets. He grows and develops leaders through executive coaching consulting, facilitation, and training of individuals, teams, and organizations. He is committed to Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. He facilitates trusting environments that promote uncommonly candid conversations. Rob is also passionate about the power of developing Legacy Mindsets and has conducted over 50 Legacy interviews with people to date.
A serious man with a dry sense of humor who loves absurdity can often be found hiking rocky elevations or making music playlists. His mixes, including Pandemic Playlists and Music About Men, can be found on Spotify.
Bravely bring your curiosity to a conversation with Rob, schedule via voice or text @ 484.800.2203 or rhackman@4cconsulting.net.