Choosing to Work from the Path of Who You Are
by Robert Hackman
Photograph by Kalen Emsley on Unsplash
Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run
There’s still time to change the road you’re on
From the song ‘Stairway to Heaven’
By Led Zeppelin
Few things give me more pleasure than interacting with people doing the precise work they should be doing. Their essence emanates from who they are. Aligned and integrated, they fully employ their talents and inclinations in the passionate pursuit of what holds meaning to them.
I find them a joy to be around. I also find them to be rare.
What keeps you from doing the same thing? How can you return to living an integrated life of purpose when you get off track? What would be possible if you insisted on working from the path of who you are rather than feeling compelled to act like someone else or someone different?
I do not believe we know ourselves very well. While it seems like understanding ourselves should be apparent and straightforward. It is not.
We are frequently out of touch with our feelings at any given moment. Even when we recognize our responses to interactions and situations, we often don’t understand what caused them.
Self-awareness, in relation to others, is learned. We must deliberately pursue it through openness, reflection, and acceptance.
It seems counterintuitive, but outside help is needed. We require assistance from friends, colleagues, mentors, coaches, and tools such as assessments and processes to provide the perspectives and insights we cannot grasp on our own.
The pressures from work environments and the larger culture to be perfect are real. Buying into them draws you away from yourself. They can cause you to ignore or reject feedback that does not fit your perceptions of who you believe you need to be.
Interacting with others from self-knowledge in relation to them builds self-confidence and inspires trust. Trying to be something else, regardless of how well-intentioned, does not.
You are at your best when you act on the feedback you receive in ways that feel right, even when they do not match the expectations of others.
When you deny who you are, your natural talents and motivations, and what matters most to you, you create friction within yourself and between yourself and others because you are working at cross-purposes—your self-betrayal causes you to refrain from total commitment.
As a result, it drains your self-confidence. You behave less consistently and are less trustworthy. You undermine your agency by adopting the belief you are insufficient as you are.
Acknowledging your limitations and blind spots, along with your strengths and values, keeps you open, relatable, and learning.
When you pretend otherwise, you set yourself up for regret.
Life is chock full of decision moments. It is easy to forget that your current and future legacies are always rooted in your choices and actions in the present.
How you show up moment-to-moment defines your life. Unfortunately, this realization frequently eludes us.
You will not lament taking risks aligned with who you are and what you value most highly value, regardless of their outcome. You will regret unexplored opportunities because you paid attention to someone or something else.
You must resist the temptation to pretend otherwise.
Remember, we are always in a relationship with others, leading, following, or collaborating. We are born as our true selves, get distracted by others’ expectations, and spend the rest of our lives striving to return to our authentic selves.
A process for working from the path of who you are:
- Identify your core attributes, strengths, motivations, and what matters most; acknowledge blind spots– get help with this.
- Accept your realizations. Do not talk your way out of them in service to something or someone else.
- Embrace yourself and your aspirations fully. Relish who you are and what you have to offer.
- Engage in the iterative process of what and how you will bring your best self to the world.
Acknowledge the fear, vulnerability, and self-doubt that accompany you on your path, regardless of how accomplished you become.
No leader seeking to accomplish anything of consequence can avoid these unwanted house guests. They are an inherent part of the package for rare, integrated, purpose-driven, self-accepting people.
Request the help and support you need to keep returning to your path.
My work concerns helping leaders, teams, and companies identify what is core to them, leveraging their distinctiveness for the greater good.
My company’s purpose is to ‘Help people Live and Lead with Fewer Regrets.’ Nothing could be more important. Our teams, families, companies, communities, and world would be much better if we each did that.
Worthy Inquiries:
- In what ways do you express what matters most to you? How would those with whom you interact know?
- What becomes possible by embracing the fullness of who you are? What does that inspire in others?
- What do you need to know and accept about yourself to step into it more fully? What do you need to let go of?
- How can you increase your vulnerability, openness, and courage to commit to living and working from the path of who you are and aspire to be?
- How impactful can individuals, teams, and companies be when they bring their authentic selves together and work towards a common purpose?
Please get in touch with me if you want help navigating your authentic leadership path to benefit yourself, your family, your team, and your organization. I welcome the conversation.
Robert Hackman, Principal, 4C Consulting and Coaching, helps people live and lead with fewer regrets. He grows and develops leaders through executive coaching consulting, facilitation, and training of individuals, teams, and organizations. He is committed to Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. He facilitates trusting environments that promote uncommonly candid conversations. Rob is also passionate about the power of developing Legacy Mindsets and has conducted over 50 Legacy interviews with people to date.
A serious man with a dry sense of humor who loves absurdity can often be found hiking rocky elevations or making music playlists. His mixes, including Pandemic Playlists and Music About Men, among others, can be found on Spotify.
Bravely bring your curiosity to a conversation with Rob, schedule via voice or text @ 484.800.2203 or rhackman@4cconsulting.net.