Everyday Legacies Everywhere All at Once
by Robert Hackman
Photograph from Kincir.com
Oh, it’s a little bit of everything
It’s the matador and the bull
It’s the suggested daily dosage
It’s the red moon when it’s full
Lyrics from the song ‘It’s A Little Bit of Everything’
By Dawes
Despite winning seven Oscars, including best picture, best director, best screenplay, best actress, and best-supporting actress and actor, the movie ‘Everything Everywhere All at Once’ is not for everyone. However, its themes most definitely are.
Roughly half the people I know loved it. The others hated the film or couldn’t follow it after viewing it for more than 30 minutes. I thought it was fantastic!
As schizophrenic, time-bending, and farcical as the movie is, it epitomizes the significance of Everyday Legacies and provides a recipe for living and leading with fewer regrets. It does so with high degrees of irreverence and humor, profound ways to provoke thought, initiate change, and increase possibilities.
Interspersed between universe jumping and jujitsu, you get discerning lines like Waymond telling Evelyn, ‘You underestimate how the smallest decisions can compound into significant differences over a lifetime.’
This is true for all of us. We are like a jet plane. Being off course by a degree or two on a flight from the west coast of the U.S. lands us in Washington, D.C., instead of New York. Our lessons are best learned through navigating them with curiosity, courage, and laughter.
How can we care deeply and strive valiantly while holding outcomes lightly? What can our infinite humanity teach us about committing ourselves to kindness, compassion, and love? How can we keep coming back to the present and hold fast to what matters most in the whirlwind of life?
The movie is about being present and intentionally showing up in your own life, recognizing the impact you have on others and what you leave behind – every moment of every day.
It urges you to pay attention to what matters, stay with it, and have faith that you are infinitely loveable regardless of your missteps, failures, and shortcomings.
As Waymond tells Evelyn, ‘With every passing moment you fear you must have missed an opportunity to make something of your life. I am here to tell you every rejection, every disappointment, has led you here to this moment. Don’t let anything distract you from it.’ Stay in the present moment. That is where your power resides.
Waymond says, ‘I’ve seen thousands of Evelyns but never an Evelyn like you. You have so many goals you never finished. Dreams you never followed. You’re living your worst you.’ That is what happens when we abandon ourselves. We have all spent time living our worst selves. The question is in service to what?
He then says, ‘You can do anything because you are so bad at everything.’ Aha, there is always hope! You can always begin from where you are, regardless of what has come before.
‘You tell me it’s a cruel world; we’re all running around in circles. I know that. I’ve been on this Earth just as many days as you,’ Waymond says to Evelyn. ‘When I choose to see the good side of things, I’m not being naive. It is strategic and necessary. It’s how I’ve learned to survive through everything.’ The mindsets we choose guide what we see and how.
The antithesis of Everyday Legacies and living a life of consequence is uttered by Joy, ‘If nothing matters, then all the pain and guilt you feel for making nothing of your life goes away.’ If we are honest with ourselves, we recognize this part is in us too.
‘Can we just stop fighting? I know you are all frightened and confused. I am confused too. All day I don’t know what the heck is going on, and somehow, I have the feeling it is all my fault. The only thing I do know is we have to be kind. Please be kind, especially when we don’t know what is going on,’ implores Waymond.
‘You Think Because I’m Kind That It Means I’m Naive, And Maybe I Am. It’s Strategic And Necessary. This Is How I Fight.’ There are many ways we can respond to chaos, loss, and threat. Often our best options are counterintuitive. Vulnerability is bravery at its finest.
We must heed the acknowledgment that, as Evelyn says, ‘There’s no going back.’ Life is not a dress rehearsal. We do not get do-overs. Everything is the real deal.
An agitated Joy indignantly asks, ‘You’re still hung up on the fact that I like girls in this world? The universe is so much bigger than you realize.’ When we spend time on the trivial and inconsequential (and hurtful), we miss the opportunities available to us to make a difference.
However, if we remain open to one another and to what we know to be true, we remember that ‘We Can Do Whatever We Want. Nothing Matters.’ An excellent turn of phrase from not caring. It means the possibilities for how to live our lives are endless if we do not get deterred by the expectations and judgments of others.
As Joy declares, ‘Right is a small box invented by people who are afraid. And I know what it feels like to be trapped inside that box.’ We all do. And that is not how we live and lead with fewer regrets.
Pay attention to this exchange between mother and daughter ‘Here, all we get are a few specks of time where any of this actually makes any sense. Then I will Cherish these few specks of time.’
May we all make life ‘specs’ worthy of our time. Everyday Legacies Everywhere All at Once.
Worthy Considerations:
- How can you stop judging, keep coming back to curiosity, and act courageously and vulnerability to live and lead with fewer regrets?
- How can you care deeply, invest yourself fully, and hold on lightly?
- What insignificance do you need to let go of to make room for what has meaning and magnitude?
- What would happen if you committed to kindness in the face of fear and anxiety? How would that change your impact on others?
- Who and what will you cherish with the few specs of your life? How can you make sure to focus on the ones that count most – to you?
Please connect with me to explore ways hone in on what matters to live your best life with curiosity, courage, and humor to benefit you, your family, your team, your organization, and your community. I welcome the conversation.
Robert Hackman, Principal, 4C Consulting and Coaching, helps people live and lead with fewer regrets. He grows and develops leaders through executive coaching consulting, facilitation, and training of individuals, teams, and organizations. He is committed to Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. He facilitates trusting environments that promote uncommonly candid conversations. Rob is also passionate about the power of developing Legacy Mindsets and has conducted over 50 Legacy interviews with people to date.
A serious man with a dry sense of humor who loves absurdity can often be found hiking rocky elevations or making music playlists. His mixes, including Pandemic Playlists and Music About Men, can be found on Spotify.