Sticking My Head in the Sand
by Robert Hackman
Picture by Getty Images
Some folks want to be like an ostrich
Bury their heads in the sand
From the song ‘My Rainbow Place’
By Pete Seeger
If you are like me, you find the above photograph funny. You chuckle and think, what a foolish bird.
I hate to be the one to break it to you if you don’t already know. Ostriches do not bury their heads, believing they have successfully concealed themselves from others. *
However, people do. I recognize that it sometimes includes me—more often than I prefer to acknowledge.
I am guilty of many things people say I cannot do. Like doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result. I have done that and will do it again. Ouch!
One of our most prominent delusions is that if ‘we know we will do,’ despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary. In that way, we are all eternal optimists with permanent cases of amnesia. Sometimes we even refuse to know.
What would happen if we admitted these realities to ourselves? Would accepting these truths help us or hurt us? How would it impact our teams and organizations if we could call things out when we see and hear them, confronting the elephants in the room?
Burying our heads in the sand takes many forms.
A recent email from a friend and prospective client prompted me to bring it to the fore. It read, ‘I’m out of my comfort zone knowing things like this. My biggest fan said it was me to a T.’ He was referring to the results of an assessment I had proposed that he take.
He received new information about himself, confirmed by someone who knows and cares about him, yet it still sparked unease and resistance.
I loved his candor and openness, though his reaction was entirely different from mine when I took it many years earlier. It reminded me of when I reject revelations about myself that cause me distress, so I ignore them.
It can be challenging to refrain from responding to how I want things to be rather than how they are, which is one way of placing my head in the sand.
His response is like a lot of ours. We get information or insights that prompt us to consider that we need to do something different, which scares us. We all have well-honed avoidance and denial strategies that we implement to the detriment of ourselves and others.
I know that bravely confronting uncertainty in one realm does not necessarily mean it translates to courage in another. We each have areas where we feel more vulnerable, less capable, and unworthy.
Drawn to action in one area, we are bewildered and blocked in another. A leader willing to confront others’ performance issues may be unwilling to acknowledge their own. Or they do so at work, not at home or in their personal lives.
I know it is vital to remain open, yet some of my blind spots persist. Practicing compassion for myself and others while doing my best to retain accountability is critical.
Leaders, teams, and organizations suffer consistently because of a lack of candor and openness. Ed Catmull, co-founder of Pixar and President of Disney animation, states in his must-read book Creativity Inc., ‘The higher a leader gets, the less complete and accurate information they receive.’ He believes executives must actively solicit accurate information and feedback from various sources.
Unfortunately, sometimes it is done on purpose. I hear stories about leaders professing they want their associates to be more open. Yet they penalize them when their associates give them what they say they want. How executives conduct meetings and handle one-on-one feedback determines whether they are genuinely open to hearing contrary ideas.
Even those most committed to the executive filter what they say because of the inherent risks of the power differential between them.
Rather than remaining curious and open to information and feedback that could help them, leaders often stiff-arm it instead—simultaneously modeling the behaviors they expect from others.
Refuting truth stymies growth, innovation, and collaboration in teams and companies. It is vital to remember that, as the author, CEO, and coach Michael Bungay Stanier says, ‘The prize you receive for resistance is the status quo,’ regardless of how unhealthy it is.
Sticking our heads in the sand does not help us live and lead with fewer regrets. It invites them. Consequently, we must develop practices and systems to guard against doing so.
Keeping ourselves open to our imperfections enlists the trust of others. Not taking ourselves too seriously and preserving a sense of humor aids the process.
Worthy Considerations:
- Do you recognize times or instances when you feel compelled to bury your head in the sand and ignore an issue or situation? What impact did your response have?
- How does acknowledging your fallibilities affect others with whom you interact? Does it grow or inhibit trust?
- Have you ever thought you were concealing a habit, way of being, or mindset, only to find others have realized it all along? What beliefs about yourself and others activate these behaviors?
- What forms of resistance exist in you, your teams, and your organization? What are the responses to it?
- How can you increase your and the collective group’s awareness of actions that do not further success and development? What corrective processes can you institute to reduce them?
Please connect with me to help acknowledge the maladaptive responses of you and your associates and develop the courage to address them through coaching and facilitation to benefit you, your team, and your organization. I welcome the discussion.
Robert Hackman, Principal, 4C Consulting and Coaching, helps people live and lead with fewer regrets. He grows and develops leaders through executive coaching consulting, facilitation, and training of individuals, teams, and organizations. He is committed to Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. He facilitates trusting environments that promote uncommonly candid conversations. Rob is also passionate about the power of developing Legacy Mindsets and has conducted over 50 Legacy interviews with people to date.
A serious man with a dry sense of humor who loves absurdity can often be found hiking rocky elevations or making music playlists. His mixes, including Pandemic Playlists and Music About Men, can be found on Spotify.
Ostriches use their heads to dig shallow holes to make nests for their eggs. *