What Legacy Mindsets Can Do for You
by Robert Hackman
Picture by Timon Studler on Unsplash
The right mindset makes life awesome
From the song Rise
By 4xking (featuring Fearless J)
I developed a warm rapport with a bartender at a recent wedding. I initiated it by asking and using her name, tipping her, and smiling. I did this to make sure she felt seen and appreciated.
I approached the bar a third time as they broke it down, and a man told me they could not help me. Francesca stopped him and said, ‘No, I will take care of him.’ She no longer had the drink I sought, informed me where she would be during dinner and that she would take care of me then.
I was taken aback by her commitment to serving me. It was not why I chose to treat her the way I did. I had no particular expectations of her.
To my surprise, the next thing I knew, she was bringing my drink to the table, somehow having found me amongst the one hundred and eighty other guests.
I later approached her with a larger tip, another smile, and appreciation. Before leaving, I said goodbye, thanked her, and wished her an excellent rest of the weekend. I realized I felt more kinship with her through our brief interactions than with some of the wedding guests.
I would not have done this without first adopting a Legacy Mindset. I would have been courteous and friendly while remaining detached – not really seeing her and, therefore, not making a connection.
I would have regarded her as either a means or an obstacle to getting what I wanted. I would have viewed her as an object instead of a person.
A Legacy Mindset primed me to be aware of how I can positively impact those with whom I interact, regardless of their relationship with me. It prompted me to slow down and get present.
Being in the moment helps me remember to practice the habit of noticing people and seeking ways to build rapport with them, irrespective of how small or fleeting they may be.
These interactions have become essential to me and vital components of the legacies I want to leave behind. If Legacy Mindsets can do this for my interactions with strangers, what can they do for you? For your family, team, or community? Or for your company?
Meriam Websters defines mindsets as mental attitudes, practices, and habits. Thus, mindsets are both filtering and directing mechanisms. They frame what we see, allow into our awareness, and pay attention to.
Like when buying a car. Before you purchase it, you are oblivious to the make and model. Afterward, however, you notice them everywhere. The purchase shifts your focus.
I encourage you to define legacy as your impact on others and your environment through your daily interactions and what you leave behind. These accumulate to form your more significant legacies.
Therefore, Legacy Mindsets increase your awareness of how you affect others and evaluate whether you impact them as you intend or not. They cause you to realize the countless opportunities you have to influence others positively and recognize you can choose how you act every moment – thus increasing your sense of responsibility.
I endeavor to send others warm feelings of notoriety, respect, community, and connection for their benefit. The unexpected rewards for me are the endorphins I generate by doing so, whether they respond favorably or not.
We tend to repeat what feels good to us. These positive emotions remain available to you too.
Embracing Legacy Mindsets connects you to others and decreases feelings of isolation and loneliness. They open you to new possibilities because you notice opportunities to relate more readily. Focusing outward on others draws people to you and engenders trust.
The fastest way to gain someone’s trust is to trust them first.
Legacy Mindsets soften you in the most endearing ways, making you emotionally available. Sensing your openness and intention, others will disclose more to you.
Practicing Legacy Mindsets strengthens loyalty, engagement, and commitment in families, teams, and organizations, which lays the groundwork for collaboration, innovation, and change. Can you imagine how this would bolster the performance of leaders, teams, and companies?
Repeating these connecting behaviors led me to explore and develop the concepts and methodologies of Legacy Mindsets and Every Day Legacies, which have transformed me. Applying them can do the same for you.
Worthy considerations:
- What impact do you have on others, and what do you leave behind? Can your mindset help you?
- Do you miss opportunities to connect? How might slowing down and becoming present serve you? What possibilities does being present open to you?
- What if everyone in your family, community, team, and company took full responsibility for their impact on others, their environment, and what they left behind? Would trust, loyalty, and commitment to one another go up? How would that make you feel?
- In what ways can you envision Legacy Mindsets improving the performance of leaders, teams, and companies? Do you believe adopting them can help you live and lead with fewer regrets?
Please get in touch with me to learn how adopting Legacy Mindsets can help you, your family, your teams, and your organization become better. I welcome the conversation.
Robert Hackman, Principal, 4C Consulting and Coaching, helps people live and lead with fewer regrets. He grows and develops leaders through executive coaching consulting, facilitation, and training individuals, teams, and organizations. He is committed to Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. He facilitates trusting environments that promote uncommonly candid conversations. Rob is also passionate about the power of developing Legacy Mindsets and has conducted over 50 Legacy interviews with people to date.
A serious man with a dry sense of humor who loves absurdity can often be found hiking rocky elevations or making music playlists. His mixes, including Pandemic Playlists and Music About Men, can be found on Spotify.